Inspiring Insights with Mental Health Provider Nichole Cavallaro
- Sarah Smith
- May 9, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Jun 13, 2024
Today we would like to introduce Nichole Cavallaro
NICHOLE, PLEASE INTRODUCE YOURSELF
Oh hello there! I am Nichole and I am a licensed mental health provider (LMHC) and clinically certified trauma professional (CCTP) working in Upstate New York, with a specialty in PTSD, Anxiety, and Depression. I implement CBT, DBT (informed), Solution-focused, and Strength-based modalities in therapy, and often hear stories from the inner child pain and trauma that continue to haunt my adult patients. I operate out of my practice as well as an online therapy platform.
CAN YOU EXPLAIN WHAT INNER CHILD HEALING IS AND HOW IT FITS INTO YOUR THERAPEUTIC OR COACHING APPROACH?
Acknowledging the inner child involves recognizing and accepting things that caused pain in childhood, bringing them to light to understand their impact now (Raypole, 2021) Inner Child Healing is having the person in front of me talk about her life growing up, who was involved, what happened, how they felt and how it affects them to this day. Sometimes, they don't even know it's their lost child within them, that wants answers....and that comes out in different ways as an adult that leaves the person confused, helpless, and conflicted. It fits into my therapy sessions almost all of the time. When we have work relationships or dynamics, feeling excluded, having issues with addictions or lifestyles, it's almost always brought up in a way where tracking its origin is important and then we realize it's unhealed inner child trauma. Or, sometimes people DO know they need to heal their inner child and we go headfirst into that. The bravery and voice of the adult can sometimes override the inner voice of the child, and I help empower them to themselves by the hand and lead the way.
HOW DO YOU IDENTIFY AND WORK WITH THE INNER CHILD IN YOUR CLIENTS? COULD YOU SHARE SOME EXAMPLES OR TECHNIQUES YOU USE?
After reflection and a few sessions, I do ask about their childhood. This goes into a dark place for some and a safe place for others. The bravery and voice of the adult can sometimes override the inner voice of the child, and I help empower them to take themselves by the hand and lead the way. Because it's trauma work, there is a lot of slow guidance, encouragement, patience, and closed questions. Sometimes I incorporate art activities, writing activities, and games like putting emotions to color, or emotions to an animal. I am mindful to not guide my patients in a condescending or childish way, but I am highly informative and communicative during the process because when they are already vulnerable, they need to hear safety and strength in their therapist.
WHAT ARE SOME COMMON CHALLENGES OR MISCONCEPTIONS THAT CLIENTS MAY HAVE WHEN IT COMES TO INNER CHILD HEALING, AND HOW DO YOU ADDRESS THEM?
I think some common challenges that I have run into are "it's too long of a story to revisit", "I am too old and it's too late", along with "my therapist doesn't know how I felt, so why bother." These are normal and common things I hear, and frankly, it's the idea of minimizing and/or avoiding the topic. I address those concerns with validation and being honest too. I often say these things might not take as long as you think but it will not be as easy as you'd like. I am upfront with the healing process, in that healing doesn't always feel good - in fact, it hurts more. But I am there with them every step of the way. Consistently telling them they are not alone, they are safe, and they are being proactive, helps immensely.
IN YOUR EXPERIENCE, WHAT ARE SOME OF THE MOST SIGNIFICANT BENEFITS OR TRANSFORMATIONS THAT CLIENTS TYPICALLY EXPERIENCE THROUGH INNER CHILD HEALING?
They understand themselves much better. They understand things and the families they had, the situations that happened, and the pain they went through. They can start, continue, and end work on a lost part of themselves, and they emerge more whole than when they started. They can recover with Inner Child Healing, and move forward in their relationships, their jobs, their families, their overall lives. They also do find forgiveness in themselves and others, but also are given permission to not grant forgiveness if they do not want to. They take power back and are 100% in control.
CAN YOU DISCUSS A PARTICULARLY MEMORABLE OR IMPACTFUL CASE WHERE INNER CHILD HEALING PLAYED A CRUCIAL ROLE IN YOUR CLIENT'S JOURNEY TOWARD HEALING OR PERSONAL GROWTH
This young woman was having marital issues and was seeking a certain healing through her husband. She was always dependent on him, mean, feeling out of control, and at times, feeling like she hated him and it was a role of feeling unequal. She found herself despising him at times, acting out in their marriage, and making poor choices. It wasn't until she started Inner Child healing in therapy that she realized her displaced pain, anger, and rage was really at her father who abandoned her at a young age. Her spouse provided for her, but she didn't see him as her spouse, she subconsciously saw him as her dad and she would seek out his approval, attention, and reactions like that of a grown child. When she saw this as her own behavior, she "awakened" to a different shift in self and uncovered a mature role she was able to fill, but she was using a different "skill set". She ended up recognizing her behaviors, and started to respect her partner for who he was: her husband, not her father. A man she met as a young adult, not someone who helped create her. She grew respect for herself as well through therapy, choosing to reparent herself in a variety of ways, and forgiving herself for acting on displaced feelings. She also proceeded to a healthy relationship with her father and saw him for an older man now, not the way she remembered him before he left.
NICHOLE'S CONTACT INFO
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